Protecting Your Child from Diet Talk During the Holidays

By Ellen Welch MS, RD, LD, RoundTable Wellness Nutrition Services Director

It’s that time of year, again, where we come together with our friends and family to celebrate various holiday traditions. With all the joy and happiness we look forward to, there can also be some challenges that may dim our spirits --- diet talk. Diet talk stems from diet culture and it is ever present in our lives. Unfortunately, diet talk can be amplified around the holidays. It’s hard enough for adults to navigate but, for children, it can be especially damaging. We all want to give our children a joyous holiday season filled with special memories. Here are five tips on how to prevent diet talk from spoiling the holidays.

1.      Don’t require your children to try every food. There are many thoughts and opinions on “no thank you bites” or “x-number of bites” rule. Bottom line is this puts pressure on children to appease the caregiver’s food rules which makes it harder for the child to listen to what their bodies actually need AND want.

Instead: Give your children permission to enjoy eating special holiday foods without a side serve of diet culture (food guilt/shame). Ensure there are plenty of foods that your child will eat along with foods they may like and give them. Encourage table manners and polite language. When asked if they’d like to try a food, teach them to say “No thank you.”

2.      Don’t comment on other peoples’ bodies or food choices (or your own). Holiday meals are notorious for conversations that revolve around food and body shaming. You may hear lots of opinions on how or what your child should be eating.

Instead: Be an advocate for yourself and your child by shutting down the diet talk right away. You can do this by deflecting and changing the subject, or simply saying something along the lines of, “We believe all foods fit.” Have your “one-liner” ready to go.  For those potentially more harmful comments from relatives who tend to share their latest dieting attempt or are known for commenting on others’ bodies, you may want to consider setting a boundary and having a conversation ahead of time.

3.      Don’t try to control your child’s eating or food choices. Diet culture has made parents believe that children can’t be trusted to make their own decisions about food. It’s made parents feel like their children’s food choices reflect their inability to properly nourish them.

Instead: Focus on fulfilling your parental role when it comes to feeding your child by providing enough, new, and familiar foods and by trusting your child to eat in accordance with their body cues.

4.      DO: Model a healthy behavior by eating and enjoying a variety of foods. Children are very impressionable and pick up on behaviors, beliefs, and comments related to dieting and bodies. Think about and practice the behaviors you want your children notice.

5.      DO: Be present at the meal and focus on connection with your family. Connection over meals will benefit your family’s overall well-being more than the food being eaten. Don’t spend your time worrying about the food on the table. Focus on enjoying the meal experience, eating the foods you enjoy and taking in the moments and memories.