How to Cope with Eating Disorder Behavior Urges

Emily Ervin, MA, LMHC

“I don’t know what to do. The eating disorder thoughts are too loud right now.”

One thing we know for sure is that recovery is not a linear process. The choice to engage in treatment is one of the bravest choices you will ever make. We are so proud of you. We also know not acting on eating disorder urges is some of the hardest work to be done. There will be days where you might consider it second nature to make recovery choices and be so proud of yourself, days where recovery choices feel like the hardest thing you have ever done, and every place in between. The important thing is…we keep our recovery why in mind and continue to show up for your authentic self in recovery.

Eating disorders are driven by thoughts and behaviors. In recovery a person is learning to respond in different ways than what the eating disorder wants. Certain experiences, food, comments, social situations, etc. can be triggering to the eating disorder and you will want to use a behavior that feels so familiar. These are called urges. Urges will happen and can be strong and confusing. They are a combination of cognitive, emotional, and physical sensations. You might have a thought that tells you to restrict. You might feel strong emotion in which you want to cope with by using food. You might feel physically uncomfortable leading to other compensatory behaviors. Let’s consider how we can build skills to respond to urges with recovery-oriented choices.

We call this an Urge 911 plan. This is a set of steps you can utilize when you are triggered to help you continue to make recovery choices even when it feels the most difficult.

1.      State what you are feeling

Eating disorders are really sneaky and often take your feelings and run with them. It can be easy to think that when you experience an intense emotion it will feel better if you respond with a behavior.

First, you want to state precisely what you are feeling and name it. Feelings like sadness, loneliness, anxiety, anger, etc. are not bad. All emotions are valid, and emotions are not always facts. These emotions are indications from your brain and body for you to show up with compassion and care for yourself. Bring awareness to those emotions so you can respond in recovery-oriented ways. Emotions cannot hurt you. Use statements like:

I am aware that I am having the thought...

I am aware that my body physically feels...

I am aware that I am feeling...

2.      Frame and Reframe

Remind yourself your brain is attempting to deal with these feelings to meet a real and legitimate physical, mental/emotional, or relational need. Eating disorders exist for multiple reasons in which you might have been exploring in treatment. The goal is to consider how to meet needs without utilizing disordered behaviors.

Ask yourself what you are attempting to gain by acting on the urge you are having. Examples include safety, relief, acceptance, freedom, or choice. There is power in identifying what need you are attempting to meet.

3.      See and Visualize

Consider how acting differently better aligns with long-term recovery goals. You might think acting on the behavior will result in feeling better, but that is the eating disorder talking. When you take time to introduce the choice and visualize yourself coping differently, you are allowing the brain to interact with recovery-oriented thoughts.

Remind yourself of your why in recovery. What makes you want recovery? Why are you choosing to do this work now? What do you want to take back that the eating disorder has taken from you?

Take a breath. Then, take another breath. Consciously tell yourself, “I can cope through this, and I am choosing recovery right now.”

4.      Focus and Cope

Intentionally take action to cope with the urge. This means utilizing those coping skills you have likely been working on in treatment. Coping skills can look like a lot of different things and change based on the situation. The goal is to intentionally distract and shift the attention from the urge to something else. Some examples of coping skills include:

       Sensory skills:

-          5-4-3-2-1. Five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste)

-          Essential oils to create a calming environment and space

-          Holding cold ice cubes

-          Stepping barefoot in the grass

       Distractions:

-          Watch a tv show or movie that will make you laugh

-          Engage in a craft project like knitting, crocheting, origami, painting, etc.

-          Call a friend and have a conversation related to anything but your urge

-          Play with a pet

       Mindfulness:

-          Engaging in movement *only if appropriate in your journey right now J

-          Mindfulness meditation utilizing the Calm app

-          Pick a color of the rainbow, and go on a gentle walk to notice everything in that color

-           

This urge will not last forever. You can do this!